So, I haven't posted here since I went back to work. It turns out working 30 hours a week, running a baby to daycare and back, plus keeping it entertained and alive while at home takes up a good deal of time. I have been wanting to post for a while but instead have been choosing more mentally lazy past times like reading my really fun fantasy novel, The Name of the Wind, or watching some tv with Joseph (and when I say "some tv," I mean barely making it through one episode of News Room, before dragging self to bed at 9pm). The point here really isn't- or shouldn't be- that we are busy and tired.
The point should be that at this moment Perrin is napping, Joseph and I are out on the balcony on this chilly morning, while it quietly rains around us. Joseph is studying, while I write this post just for you. I pulled the lounge chair over between us and put a blanket on it for Simon, so he is all cozied up out here too. Life is very good right now. Oh, and we are drinking hot coffee--you get it---it's awesome.
In short, our new lifestyle of J being in school, P in daycare 3 days a week and me working 4 days a week, has turned out to work well for our family so far. I am happier getting out of the house more and having more adult time (even if it is while I am working), Joseph is certainly happier in school than when he was working and Perrin likes the babysitter, Katie, just fine. Especially because she has a gentle giant of a dog, a St. Bernard named Peaches. Katie says that whenever Perrin is ready for her nap, she crawls over to Peaches, lays her head on the dog, and sucks her thumb--thus requesting her nap please. I love it. It's too bad that by definition I can never see it happen. Oh, well. Perrin is happy, so I am happy.
Perrin still only has 2 teeth, but we think that the top two are on their way. She does enjoy brushing her teeth. We have a brush for her to use and then another that we use on her, sort of at the same time. That way, she feels like she is participating, and the teeth do actually get brushed. She sits on her little yellow stool in the bathroom to do it right before her bath.
Above are pictures from her first visit to Monkey Bizness, an indoor play area near us. Relaxing it is not, as you must make sure no giant 2 year old runs over her or that she gets up some stairs into this little Keebler Elf tree then can't get back down. But, I'm glad to have found this Monkey Bizness place so that we will have a fun spot to play when it gets cold. Winter is coming. (Like in Game of Thrones, duh...)
Perrin is due to wake at any moment, so I can't get into much more right now. But thanks for coming back to check in! Hope you have a nice weekend...maybe with less flash flooding than we have been having. Oh, and less water dripping from the ceiling in your daughters closet.
A few weeks ago I realized that Perrin was starting to do things that I didn't want her to do, and I wasn't sure when it would start being constructive for me to tell her "no." This sounds like a petty thing, but when it is your first child and they have not yet had the physical skills or the will to do anything too rotten, it is a very strange feeling to suddenly hold them accountable for their actions for the first time.
Perrin's main two offenses right now are pushing buttons on the stereo and pulling books off of shelves. She can be pretty persistent too...she will crawl way out of her way to get around me and whatever I am trying to block her way with to get to the stereo. I try not to kick up too much of a fuss because I don't want her to do it just to get attention. So I just say "no" in a voice that I hope sounds firm and authoritative, pick her up and plunk her down in front of something that is invariably less fun than the stereo. Sometimes this works, sometimes we do this dance three or four times in a row.
The point being, I picked up a few parenting books at the library and have been doing some reading. While I know I could raise my daughter just fine without out research, I do appreciate some good scientific research on baby brains and tested advice from people with experience.
There are three that stood out to me as pretty logical and grounded, but one stood out even from the other two. It was Brain Rules for Baby, How to Raise a Smart and Happy child from 0 - 5 by John Medina. This one was just enough science for people who what to know the WHY of it all. The book refers to a lot of studies and brain research, but isn't dry at all. He is able to distill lots of scientific information into a manageable about of bullet points that you can really focus on instead letting you wallow in so much information that your brain just rejects it all. One of my favorite take aways was EMPATHY. That helping your child develop it is a major advantage for them, now and into adulthood. He also talks about the importance of modeling it for them in your relationships with other family members. Empathy is just good for everybody.
Another book I found lots of useful information in was Simplicity Parenting, Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne, M.Ed This one is about simplifying our kids stuff, the speed of our daily lives and our routines (or lack thereof). Most of what was in this book felt like it really agreed with my instincts, and some seemed obvious after reading it, but it was good to have it stated explicitly so that you could give it conscience thought.
Lastly, I liked Raising a Self-Reliant Child, A back to basics parenting plan from birth to age 6 by Dr. Alanna Levine. This one emphasizes giving your child the freedom to do for themselves that they are able to do on their own-- whether it is feeding, dressing, walking, play. Lots of this felt fairly common sense, but again, I think it is good to give explicit thought to some of these seemingly common sense things, so that you can CHOOSE to have these behaviors instead of probably/maybe falling into doing them.
Ok, P's nap can't last much longer...Here are some pictures of the Perrin happenings this week. Enjoy the weekend!
Right now I need to be folding laundry and stuffing diaper shells...but I am having a beer and as I drink it, I am seeing how all the things I thought I needed to do tonight (including showering myself) seem like things that, really, I could probably fit in tomorrow morning before Joseph gets home from his work trip. I haven't even feed myself dinner and it is 8:20, but it just seems like so much trouble right now. Perrin is in bed---I just want to sit on the couch with my beer and pet my cats. I feel like a bachelor- minus the cat part.
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I know numerous people right now who are pregnant with their 2nd and 3rd babies. There is just something about other people you know having babies that makes you feel like you are running late when it isn't you. Something in your brain just thinks, I've got to get on this. We are behind! Why is that? My only hurry would be (this is going to sound harsh) I am looking forward to having newborn stage babies behind me forever! No baby #3 for us...and the first months were so stressful that I would like to go ahead and get it over with sooner than later and just get on with the business AND PLEASURE of being with my family who can all hold their own heads up and sleep through the night.
Ok. I'm going to get up and do things that need to be done. Grrr. Have a nice weekend all!
"You don't want 10 more of me, mama? But I am so darling and sweet--just look at me! Oh, and I just threw up a little on the floor over there."
-Perrin
So our dryer is officially broken. Yesterday when I went to get the clothes out of the dryer and they were still not dry, I thought that maybe it was some kind of fluke--if I didn't acknowledge that it happened, it would not have happened. After the 3rd cycle that didn't end with dry clothes, I considered considering that the dryer may not be operating at peak condition.
After running another experimental load today, I can say--yes, the dryer is broken. The heating element is not heating the air. I now have clothes, diaper shells, diaper inserts, and cloth wipes strewn about the house to dry. Now to try and dig out those dryer warranty papers that--come on, does anyone actually know where those papers are?
Joseph just brought home sandwiches and ice cream, so of course Perrin just decided to wake up and cry 30 minutes after going to bed. And as you can see, we are doing really well with making more healthy dinners at home. It's just that Jimmy John's makes these sandwiches...and if you give them money, they just hand them to you, no questions asked. Next week we will hunker down and plan two meals for the week. That seems like a good starting place. Send food! we are starving! Wish us luck!
Tara took me to Cafe Terracotta for Mother's Day breakfast over the weekend. I love that place. Anyone here in Littleton should eat there. Seriously. Eat there. I had eggs benedict with artichoke and mushrooms and a side of french toast. We sat on the restaurant's front porch, talked, ate, drank. It was wonderful.
The next morning, on Mother's Day proper, Joseph made me breakfast and we all went to the farmer's market. I was off diaper duty all day. It was a great weekend.
Here is little P in another one of my old baby dresses that my mom brought to me when she visited in March. The sleeves were pretty tight on her chubby little arms, sweet sweet chubby baby. "D" is for double chin.
woohoo, I just got a call about a possible job in Littleton- I haven't scared them off yet so that is good. I am off work today and am stranded at home because I have taken my car in to get a new master cylinder. I also took Simon into the vet this morning for his annual shots. He did a pretty good job because we were the only people/animals in the office at the time. But still he made these noises when the vet was handling him like he was possessed and his head was getting ready to spin around- poor guy. I have never seen him scurry into his carrier as fast as he did after his shots. Any thing to get home away from the man with the hands.
And I did better this time too. Last time he got his shots in bloomington, he sounded so scared that I got tears in my eyes and had to turn away from the vet. Even though I know he is ok, I can't stand to hear the kitty terror in his little cat screams. I just love the darn feline. He is now over 6 years old. I've had him since my junior year of college. I remember when I first got him from the shelter and he was still a kitten. I had classes the next day and had to leave him in the apt. alone--or with Keith-my roommate's nutty video obsessed vegan mustached boyfriend. I walk/ran all the way home from class to check on the little kitten. I wish more people would get their pets from animal shelters. So many people have to give up pets or lose pets for one reason or another.
Here he is with me as I am trying to wrap up a book to mail off this morning. He has to be in the middle of everything.
THIS POST CONTAINS HARRY POTTER SPOILERS!...if you don't want to see them, start reading after the pic
I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last night. Overall I was really pleased with the book and the way that it brought the series to a close. There are some cloudy areas that I didn't think were explained very well- they were just a little distracting. Mainly, how did Harry not die when Voldemort hit him with the killing curse when Harry gave himself up? The books explains that because he did give himself up with out other motives that is why he lived. hmmm...but um, why? I don't see how that would affect the spell.
Then I couldn't remember why Draco was the rightful owner of the elderwand before Harry won it from him. I must be forgetting something.
The important thing is that...I was right about Snape! He was loyal to Dumbledore and the school. Joseph and I were talking about the fact that he didn't get much credit though for what he did. He had to be in a really dangerous position and be made to look a "bad guy" at Hogwarts--Harry cleared his name sure, but he didn't seem to get the attention he deserved after he died.
I didn't like the "nineteen years later" chapter. Cheesy. Plus, I don't like people always getting named after others. This in itself is a topic for me- I won't go into it now, lucky for you, I can really get going on that one.
But over all, I give the book a big thumbs up. I like the tug between the horcruxes and the hallows- that was fun. Well played.
Here is a picture of Joseph and I cooking the other night. We made orange glazed pork chops and rice pilaf. We ate dinner at about 10:30, but we had lots of fun. I am wearing Tara's old Moonstruck apron from when she worked at the chocolate shop in Bloomington. That was my favorite job of hers. Why ever change from a career in chocolate and giving your sister free stuff?
This is the neighbors cat. We named her Ty. This is her greeting me from my front porch when I got home this evening. I don't know why she likes our porch so much, but she is there regularly and usually lets me give her a scratching. Not a bad thing to come home to.
Yesterday evening I drove home from work, stayed in the slow right lane trying to shake off the, me first, screw you, let me out of here, so and so stinks at their job and he makes mine harder, poor me sort of mentality. Sometimes all those negative feelings that you get everyday feel like this heavy wet coat that you try to slough off, but it sticks to your skin because it is drenched. I try to stop thinking that way and remember, I'm alive, isn't it wonderful, look at the pretty sunset...
Why is your day shaped so much by eight or nine hours so that you become this cranky beast and have to warn family members upon getting home...I'm a big crank monster; it's not your fault but I am willing to forget that... So When I got home last night I knew I needed to get settled down so I tossed my stuff down on the floor, grabbed a glass of wine and hustled out to the back porch to see what was left of the sunset. It was 9:30, but I could still see it. Not a big piece of it, but a tiny space between two houses in the distance. The sky right in front of my house was already dark and the yard was blinking green with lightening bugs.
It turned into an alright evening, but inside I stayed cranky. The lightening bug calm lasted only as long as I could see them. I don't want to wish the hours away everyday. I don't intend to kept doing that.
