last night

Yesterday evening I drove home from work, stayed in the slow right lane trying to shake off the, me first, screw you, let me out of here, so and so stinks at their job and he makes mine harder, poor me sort of mentality. Sometimes all those negative feelings that you get everyday feel like this heavy wet coat that you try to slough off, but it sticks to your skin because it is drenched. I try to stop thinking that way and remember, I'm alive, isn't it wonderful, look at the pretty sunset...

Why is your day shaped so much by eight or nine hours so that you become this cranky beast and have to warn family members upon getting home...I'm a big crank monster; it's not your fault but I am willing to forget that... So When I got home last night I knew I needed to get settled down so I tossed my stuff down on the floor, grabbed a glass of wine and hustled out to the back porch to see what was left of the sunset. It was 9:30, but I could still see it. Not a big piece of it, but a tiny space between two houses in the distance. The sky right in front of my house was already dark and the yard was blinking green with lightening bugs.

It turned into an alright evening, but inside I stayed cranky. The lightening bug calm lasted only as long as I could see them. I don't want to wish the hours away everyday. I don't intend to kept doing that.