Anyone still there?

So, I haven't posted here since I went back to work.  It turns out working 30 hours a week, running a baby to daycare and back, plus keeping it entertained and alive while at home takes up a good deal of time.  I have been wanting to post for a while but instead have been choosing more mentally lazy past times like reading my really fun fantasy novel, The Name of the Wind, or watching some tv with Joseph (and when I say "some tv," I mean barely making it through one episode of News Room, before dragging self to bed at 9pm).  The point here really isn't- or shouldn't be- that we are busy and tired.  

The point should be that at this moment Perrin is napping, Joseph and I are out on the balcony on this chilly morning, while it quietly rains around us. Joseph is studying, while I write this post just for you. I pulled the lounge chair over between us and put a blanket on it for Simon, so he is all cozied up out here too. Life is very good right now. Oh, and we are drinking hot coffee--you get it---it's awesome.  

In short, our new lifestyle of J being in school, P in daycare 3 days a week and me working 4 days a week, has turned out to work well for our family so far.  I am happier getting out of the house more and having more adult time (even if it is while I am working), Joseph is certainly happier in school than when he was working and Perrin likes the babysitter, Katie, just fine.  Especially because she has a gentle giant of a dog, a St. Bernard named Peaches.  Katie says that whenever Perrin is ready for her nap, she crawls over to Peaches, lays her head on the dog, and sucks her thumb--thus requesting her nap please. I love it.  It's too bad that by definition I can never see it happen.  Oh, well.  Perrin is happy, so I am happy.  

Perrin still only has 2 teeth, but we think that the top two are on their way.  She does enjoy brushing her teeth.  We have a brush for her to use and then another that we use on her, sort of at the same time.  That way, she feels like she is participating, and the teeth do actually get brushed.  She sits on her little yellow stool in the bathroom to do it right before her bath.  

 Above are pictures from her first visit to Monkey Bizness, an indoor play area near us.  Relaxing it is not, as you must make sure no giant 2 year old runs over her or that she gets up some stairs into this little Keebler Elf tree then can't get back down.  But, I'm glad to have found this Monkey Bizness place so that we will have a fun spot to play when it gets cold.  Winter is coming. (Like in Game of Thrones, duh...)  


Perrin is due to wake at any moment, so I can't get into much more right now.  But thanks for coming back to check in!  Hope you have a nice weekend...maybe with less flash flooding than we have been having.  Oh, and less water dripping from the ceiling in your daughters closet.
 

"Beat up the baby"

So today at the park I was letting Perrin play around, meaning: cruise around on the playground equipment and attempt to eat handfuls of wood chips every time I took my eyes off of her.   Up runs a little boy, who starts climbing around near her, saying something over and over.  "Beam up the baby." No, that's not it.  "Be the baby." No. [Listening closer...]  "Beat up the baby.  Beat up the baby.  Beat up the baby."  Seriously, little six year old was climbing around chanting, yes chanting, "Beat up the baby."  That is the only thing he would say.  Over and over and over...  "Ok Perrin! [big smile that shows nothing is amiss] Time to go home!"  I'd like to hear that kid's story. 

~

Joseph gets home from Mexico tomorrow!  He has been there for 6 days in Merida training nurses in a dialysis clinic.  This is nothing to my productivity for the week which involved keeping the baby alive and replacing our 2nd hand armchair from LensCrafters with a 2nd hand armchair from Craig's List.  It is a futon chair my friends; YES A FUTON CHAIR!  Who knew these things even existed!  Of course you have to be 7 years old or younger to be able to sleep on the thing---BUT IT'S A FUTON CHAIR!  Anyway, I like it and it only cost me $15.  

So as for our family news...I am going back to work for 4 days a week starting on the 5th, and Joseph has officially worked his last day in the office with Davita, AND, Perrin's 1st day of day care is the 12th.  Thing are really changing for all three of us, and I really think it will make us all happier.  It has been a tough year in the Clere-Callis household.  Some change is pretty welcome at this point to be honest.  Joseph gets to pursue his passion of working daily with tongue depressors [that's what Doctors do, right?], I get to again have a more multifaceted daily life, and Perrin gets to socialize with some other children and learn all the good curse words from them, as they are twice as old as her.  2 year olds know all the good curse words.

I don't mean to say that being a stay-at-home parent is lame and one dimensional.  Lots of people are able to do that work and not lose themselves, turning into only "mother" or "father."  But I personally just have such a hard time turning off my "mom" mode, and have done a poor job still being myself.  I know that going back to work at LensCrafters isn't exactly going to sooth my soul and allow me to be my best self, but it will get me out of the house where I only have to worry about my own actions for about 8 hours, 4 days a week.  I will also get to talk to other adults as much as I want to---which for those of you who know me [meaning everyone, as I'm pretty sure my blog following is my sister and my mother] this means maybe a few muttered words every couple of hours, as I am a big hater of the human race, which all of my co-works will surely be a part of.  

 ~

I was shopping at the Goodwill the other day and bought this t-shirt for myself because I liked the graphic on it and it happened to be my size.  I wore it over to Tara and Jeff's house and Jeff was like, "You like 'Pretty Lights?'"  And this is where, if I was a quick thinker on my feet I would have said, "Oh yeah, they are super cool.  Love that band." But then I would have been wrong, because it's not a band.  Evidently Pretty Lights is a DJ, or something, who is from here in Denver---and I guess he is supposed to be pretty cool.  Yep, that's the kind of hip I am...inadvertently hip.   

It's funny the roller coaster of "cool" one goes through in ones life. When you are an adolescent, I think everyone feels un-cool--maily due to the fact that everyone's armpits are starting to smell.  Then you get into your early 20's and you realize that there isn't just one kind of cool and you definitely feel like you are, in this unique way.  Then you get into your 30's [ok, maybe I am just speaking for myself] and you realize in some random moment while you are talking to some younger, more interestingly dressed person [who probably doesn't go to bed before 11pm], and they are saying, "You know, *[insert quirky band name]?  They are playing at the bla bla theater Saturday."  Then I say, "No, I don't know them."  This conversation happens approximately 4 times, and then you have the epiphany.  I am square.

*I realize I have officially gone nuts with the brackets usage in this post.

Zen moment with Perrin.  

"Can you put the food in my mouth while I sleep?"

Home again home again

Here we are, home again.  Part of me wants to recount, day by day, Perrin's Summer Tour 2013 to you because each day of it was wonderful and magical--in big heavy handed ways and tiny ways.  But for some reason I think that would be a little sad for me, not to mention tedious to read. It is hard to switch gears in your heart and head from full family immersion back to family of three life.  I feel back in the stride of things now though, after one weepy--I miss my family why would we ever stay so far away from all of them I love love them--day.

The gist of the whole trip was introducing Perrin to our families.  It was indescribably FULL feeling to see them together.  It felt so right to see her with her extended family that it begs the question, Is it wrong to keep her away from them?  This is not a reasonable question to ask oneself I have decided.  

 

There was a moment on our trip while we were staying at my parent's house that Perrin had woken up in the night crying.  It was about 2:30am and I found myself standing in my childhood bedroom holding my daughter to me while I rocked back and forth, staring up at the glowing star stickers on the ceiling that I had placed there years ago.  I still don't know what that moment meant, but it was captured in my mind like a snap shot.  It made me feel a million miles away from my childhood self, my Martinsville self, but it was also a beautiful full circle moment. 

We got a special kick out of seeing Perrin with her cousin Solaris for the first time.  Since they are just months apart in age, we couldn't wait to see how they would react to each other.  After an initial bonk on the head with a snack cup, Sol took to Perrin pretty darn well I would say.  She even feed Perrin her own pumpernickel rye slice.

 They were darling together.  We miss you sweet Sol!  Perrin also got to meet her cousin Brendan and a few second cousins.  Everyone loved everyone.  It was a big hippie fest.

 

By the way, Perrin just turned 1 this past week. Happy birthday to my girl.  Here she is with her new piano from Aunt Tara and Uncle Jeff.  I love this picture as she is playing the piano just like Tori Amos.

 

 

Gone...and gone some more

Sorry for the long silence.  We have been preparing for our trip back home and there have been so many little things to plan.  We are leaving at 6am tomorrow morning to fly into IN...Let's hope Perrin proves to be a good little nomad. 

We will be gone for 11 days so the radio silence will continue unfortunately.  Here are some recent Perrin shots to serve as substitute for an actually thought out blog post.  Enjoy!  I will write a proper post when we get back from our trip...seriously, I will.

Cherry Blossom Festival...Kind Of

We went to a "Cherry Blossom Festival" in downtown Denver today.  Contrary to its name, there was not an actual cherry blossom in sight.  There was a lot of touristy Japanese stuff though.  I was hoping for a little more true Japanese culture, but we still had a really nice time.  Perrin had her first udon and seemed to like it!

The food was really yummy, which was enhanced by my nostalgia for my time in Japan.  I had beef and veggie udon, and some mochi!!  I like mochi.  I was hoping to run across some Totoro loot, or some kind of studio Gibli treasure, but no such luck.  The whole thing felt more geared toward people who just wanted to be out on a pretty Saturday afternoon and be touristy.  

After the festival, we walked around downtown until we realized we were walking toward ice cream.  Really when you think about it, aren't we all always just walking toward ice cream?...Wait...what was I talking about?

So there was this adorable ice cream shop in the Highlands that looked like a giant old fashioned metal milk canister.

I had some caramel banana gelato.  So good.  I love that Perrin is too young to know when I am not sharing equally with her.  I mean she is a baby--what does she care--steamed carrots/ caramel banana gelato--whatever.  

Above is Perrin being super safe--holding onto the train handle while in a backpack worn by someone holding the train handle.  Good girl.  The stuffed deer strapped to the pack was just today dubbed, "Enrique."  I am not sure why the deer is Hispanic, but isn't that pretty presumptuous of me?  What makes me think that Enrique is white?  

~

Going to this festival made me think of my time in Japan about a million years ago...another life...  I thought it would be fun to indulge and show off some of my pictures from that time.  Enjoy your Sunday all!

 

 

 

Babies are hard.

One of the things about having a baby (and maybe this is true for a child of any age...oh dear god) that stands out to me as a new parent is just the way in which you can never relax.  Maybe I should speak for myself, but I imagine this is fairly prevalent feeling among parents.  To be honest, I don't know how we do it--live as though walking on egg shells for so long.  Obviously it can be done--Perrin is getting ready to turn one and we continue to carry on, and the current world population is over 7 billion people--so people are managing.  But sometimes, especially when I am over tired and Perrin is in a grumpy mood, I just don't see how we do it.

When she is napping or sleeping at night, I am trying to be quiet and constantly listening for her--even when I am not consciously doing so.  When she is awake and playing or eating you are on edge watching for dangerous things that could go in her mouth, things that can be pulled down or over--always with the looming threat of the cry or at least emergence of the grumpkin. 

I frequently find myself thinking, "Why did no one warn me that I would feel uptight and not be able to relax--for years?"  But why would they?  No sense giving a parent-to-be more to worry about when there is not one thing they can do to make it not so. I have always considered myself a laid-back person; and I still try to put up that front.  But man, this business is not for the faint of heart.

~

For Joseph's first Father's Day we ate some breakfast out at The Fat Frog Cafe, then went to the Botanic Gardens in the big city.  Perrin was pretty antsy at the restaurant since she was missing her nap, but it did enable us to eat a Nutella crepe, so bring it on baby.

The Denver Botanic Gardens are so beautiful.  Just walking through the air filled with all those flower smells does your soul good.  

It rained a bit which gave us the opportunity to seek shelter in a sweet little gazebo with an ice cream cone.  Perrin stayed in a pretty good mood all day, but napped surprisingly little.  I guess flowers are just too exciting.  The Gardens also have a wonderful children's area--sort of a mini garden with a built stream for wading and some play areas.  

So happy late Father's Day to you Joseph.  You two make quite a pair.  My favorite pair.  

Parenting Books

A few weeks ago I realized that Perrin was starting to do things that I didn't want her to do, and I wasn't sure when it would start being constructive for me to tell her "no."  This sounds like a petty thing, but when it is your first child and they have not yet had the physical skills or the will to do anything too rotten, it is a very strange feeling to suddenly hold them accountable for their actions for the first time.   

Perrin's main two offenses right now are pushing buttons on the stereo and pulling books off of shelves.  She can be pretty persistent too...she will crawl way out of her way to get around me and whatever I am trying to block her way with to get to the stereo.  I try not to kick up too much of a fuss because I don't want her to do it just to get attention.  So I just say "no" in a voice that I hope sounds firm and authoritative, pick her up and plunk her down in front of something that is invariably less fun than the stereo.  Sometimes this works, sometimes we do this dance three or four times in a row.  

The point being, I picked up a few parenting books at the library and have been doing some reading.  While I know I could raise my daughter just fine without out research, I do appreciate some good scientific research on baby brains and tested advice from people with experience.  

There are three that stood out to me as pretty logical and grounded, but one stood out even from the other two.  It was Brain Rules for Baby, How to Raise a Smart and Happy child from 0 - 5  by John Medina.  This one was just enough science for people who what to know the WHY of it all.  The book refers to a lot of studies and brain research, but isn't dry at all.  He is able to distill lots of scientific information into a manageable about of bullet points that you can really focus on instead letting you wallow in so much information that your brain just rejects it all.  One of my favorite take aways was EMPATHY.  That helping your child develop it is a major advantage for them, now and into adulthood.  He also talks about the importance of modeling it for them in your relationships with other family members.  Empathy is just good for everybody.  

Another book I found lots of useful information in was Simplicity Parenting,  Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids  by Kim John Payne, M.Ed  This one is about simplifying our kids stuff, the speed of our daily lives and our routines (or lack thereof).  Most of what was in this book felt like it really agreed with my instincts, and some seemed obvious after reading it, but it was good to have it stated explicitly so that you could give it conscience thought.  

Lastly, I liked Raising a Self-Reliant Child,  A back to basics parenting plan from birth to age 6  by Dr. Alanna Levine.  This one emphasizes giving your child the freedom to do for themselves that they are able to do on their own-- whether it is feeding, dressing, walking, play.  Lots of this felt fairly common sense, but again, I think it is good to give explicit thought to some of these seemingly common sense things, so that you can CHOOSE to have these behaviors instead of probably/maybe falling into doing them.
 
Ok, P's nap can't last much longer...Here are some pictures of the Perrin happenings this week.  Enjoy the weekend!